I do want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining types of the teachings of a course in miracles acim, and fo initially in a lengthy while, I do not feel alone.
Part of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was the thought that I will be doing this for the wrong reason; as an easy way in order to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to fairly share was not yet clear at that time; only on the drive away achieved it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never needs to have told you, never needs to have allow you to see inside. Don’t want it troubling the mind, won’t you allow it to be?” This confused me as I could not think of something that I had stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I had in visiting the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere having its residents’peace of mind, simply by my presence alone. This belief that I could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief will be (has been?) released.
There are other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.